Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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