no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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