I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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