when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
