i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just high enough for therapy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize