ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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