i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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