She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
