she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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