Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
