My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
