Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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