I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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