STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
