Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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