The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im having a threesome with these popsicles
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
