dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize