but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
