You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
