Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
