Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
