You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
