My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
