Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And the cops told us we were all naked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
