Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Is it because I queefed?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
