whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
