Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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