Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sober January is a disaster.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize