We named our party play list daddy issues
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
