She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
