I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
