I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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