This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
