Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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