I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
