So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
