her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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