did you get engaged???
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
