She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
