Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
