You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
