took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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