I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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