do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
