so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
