OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
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