She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
