We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
