Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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