I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
