scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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