Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
40s are totally the cure
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
