Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
