And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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