I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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