is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize