im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
