i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
