You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
