Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
