like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
